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Mortuary College Gets Its Revenge
I guess mortuary college wasn’t happy that I was writing a series on it without asking because suddenly I received three brand new course assignments at the schools I now teach for on incredibly short notice—like three days to get everything exactly how it needs to be. Oh, yeah. And because it was short notice, my books haven’t gotten here yet. When does the term begin? Today. Anyway, for that very reason writing a new story just wasn’t in the cards, but you’re in luck because I’m sharing an old piece I wrote for Points In Case back in the fall of 2020 when all three of my kids were engaged in virtual school, and the teachers were still excited to use every online learning platform they’d ever heard of. It was a blast.
To view the original, click here, or you may enjoy below.
3rd Grade Virtual Learning Schedule: Week 3, Day 4
Only 32 weeks to go!
8:00-8:15 AM — Attendance
Check in using Zoom for attendance. Remember, the meeting ID and password can be found by logging into Smarties and clicking on the Notifications tab under Alerts found in your Smarties profile which can be accessed by clicking on your avatar and selecting My Profile.
8:15-9:00 AM — Math: Multiplying and Dividing Single Digit Numbers
Watch the video entitled “Multiplication, Division, and YOU!” There will be no link provided for this video, so you, a third-grader, will need to do a Google video search and hope for the best.
Following the video, log into Farm Numbers through Smarties and complete #4-5, #7, #18-20, #25, and #27C. This site is set to grade all problems, so it will count the ones I told you to skip wrong. Don’t worry. That will probably get fixed before it makes it in the grade book.
Once you’ve completed your work in Farm Numbers, find your Yay! Math Volume 3 (the smaller one) book and complete the “And Now This” section of Lesson 4.22. Take a photo of your work using your webcam and upload it to Swing Set. This will be difficult, since you are in third grade and only have two hands.
9:00-9:45 AM — ELA: Parts of Speech: Nouns and Verbs
Open Get Learnt and log in through Smarties. Open the folder labeled Week 4. Here you will find the assignments for Week 3. Once you’ve opened the Week 4 folder, scroll down to the “Nouns and Verbs Worksheet Instructions.” Read the instructions THOROUGHLY, and then leave Get Learnt and log in to Brain Wrinkles through Smarties. Find the “Nouns and Verbs Worksheet.” Submit the completed worksheet by exporting it as a PDF and uploading it to Swing Set. Your file name should follow this format, or you will not receive full credit: ELA_lastname.firstinitial_N_O_U_N_S_&_V_E_R_B_S_W_E_E_K_3_D_A_Y_4.pdf.
Before completing the worksheet, listen to the audio recorded grammar lesson from 1948. You will find a phonograph record of this lesson in your school supplies box.
9:45-10:00 AM — Crying Break and Snacks
10:00-10:25 AM — Recess in Your Own Yard Alone
10:25-11:10 AM — Library Time
Go find whatever books you can in your house, and write your name and date checked out in the back in ink. Just do it quietly.
11:10AM-12:10 PM — Lunch
You have extra time for lunch, so your parents can take you to get food from whichever unhealthy fast food window they have the energy to get to—even if it’s one that is known to increase the risk of cancer.
12:10-12:55 — Science: Parts of a Plant
For this lesson, you will need a pencil, your computer, a second pencil with a better eraser, your whiteboard, a permanent market, authentic pistols and stamens, threaded dowel rods of various lengths, and an amateur welder’s hood. You will find all these items in your school supplies box. Once you have all your supplies log in to Edugasm through Smarties and find your “Let’s Get Physical Science!” interactive workbook Volume 6. This is the one with the tree frogs on the cover and NOT the one with the bullfrogs. That is Volume 5.9. DO NOT CHOOSE THE WORKBOOK WITH THE BULLFROGS ON THE COVER. Complete Lessons 9.005, 9.006, 9.007, and 9.009 on the parts of a plant.
Once you have completed these lessons, take Polaroid photographs of your screen showing all three lessons, and mail them to me, your teacher. You will find my address in the Contacts tab under “Cool Teachers” in Smarties.
12:55-1:25 PM — Music
Listen to your father’s jazz records. We will discuss later in the week.
1:25-2:10 PM — Spelling
Today is our weekly spelling test. First, complete the study exercises on Eduholics in Smarties. Then log in to Quiz Bitch using your Smarties credentials. Once you’ve logged in, click on Spelling Bs and use the code 8883029859903778390587392028478 to access your quiz. Each question is timed with an invisible timer, and all timers are different, so there is no way to know how much time you'll have for each question.
PARENTS: Be on the lookout for some resources I will be sending out in the future. There are so many great online learning tools, so later in the week I will be sending out login instructions for Eduductive, Timely Tomes, Virtual Pulley, Edulicious, Geared Up!, Book Learnin’, Velocitastic, EduFunk, Scholastitude, Digicabulary, Scribdibulous, Quandary, Query, Edutopsy, Fire Pole, Edudelic, Tyrants Read to Kids, Experimentalism, Educidious, Grammarican Dream, Educide, and George Clinton’s Book Club. All of these will be available through Smarties.
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