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If This Were a Movie, I'd be Dead Now
I write this from Nowitzki’s, Dirk Nowitzki’s restaurant in the Dallas-Fort Worth airport, waiting for my order of loaded fries. Understand, I know…
Sep 9
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Joseph Thomas
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If This Were a Movie, I'd be Dead Now
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August 2023
Death and I are Work Friends
We don't, like, hang out.
Aug 3
•
Joseph Thomas
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Death and I are Work Friends
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May 2023
Let Anne T. Donahue Tell You About Happiness
A couple of weeks ago, in the midst of various life discomforts, I was catching up on some internet reading when something crossed my screen that…
May 17
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Joseph Thomas
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Let Anne T. Donahue Tell You About Happiness
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So What if They're Fake Songs!
5 Songs Made for Movies or TV That Need to Become Funeral Regulars Immediately
May 10
•
Joseph Thomas
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So What if They're Fake Songs!
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April 2023
Mortuary College Gets Its Revenge
I guess mortuary college wasn’t happy that I was writing a series on it without asking because suddenly I received three brand new course assignments at…
Apr 3
•
Joseph Thomas
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Mortuary College Gets Its Revenge
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March 2023
My Friend's Roommate's Laser Tag Party
Mortuary College Part 3
Mar 27
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Joseph Thomas
1
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My Friend's Roommate's Laser Tag Party
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The Stork Has Visited My Little Substack Abode
Hello, everyone! There’s something new, and I want to tell you about it before anyone else (besides the people who have read any of my social media…
Mar 24
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Joseph Thomas
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The Stork Has Visited My Little Substack Abode
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Move-in Day (feat. Clint from Tullahoma)
Mortuary College Part 2
Mar 20
•
Joseph Thomas
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Move-in Day (feat. Clint from Tullahoma)
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We Built a Head
Mortuary College Part 1
Mar 13
•
Joseph Thomas
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We Built a Head
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Mortified 2: Return of Mortified
A little over a year ago, the Mortified you’ve all come to know and love(?) disappeared without warning. Now it's back.
Mar 6
•
Joseph Thomas
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Mortified 2: Return of Mortified
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December 2021
An Op-Ed by Parson Brown: The Constant Comparison to a Snowman is Really Hurtful
This is not exactly funeral humor, but it is my favorite Christmas piece I’ve ever written (originally appeared way back in 2016 on the Second City…
Dec 24, 2021
•
Joseph Thomas
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An Op-Ed by Parson Brown: The Constant Comparison to a Snowman is Really Hurtful
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Mortified Conversations Episode 6: The Dog Agrees with Mike Sacks
In this episode, I talk with writer, Mike Sacks, about the South, decency in comedy, remembering you’re a person, and more!
Dec 10, 2021
•
Joseph Thomas
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Mortified Conversations Episode 6: The Dog Agrees with Mike Sacks
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