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I Embalm the Grandparents
Unfortunately, there’s something uncomfortable at the center of this piece, and I’d like to start by dealing with it, so no one feels weird while…
Feb 28
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Joseph Thomas
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I Embalm the Grandparents
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November 2023
My Experience with the Flying Dutchman
And I don’t mean legendary Indiana Pacers center, Rik Smits
Nov 15, 2023
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Joseph Thomas
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My Experience with the Flying Dutchman
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September 2023
If This Were a Movie, I'd be Dead Now
I write this from Nowitzki’s, Dirk Nowitzki’s restaurant in the Dallas-Fort Worth airport, waiting for my order of loaded fries. Understand, I know…
Sep 9, 2023
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Joseph Thomas
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If This Were a Movie, I'd be Dead Now
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August 2023
Death and I are Work Friends
We don't, like, hang out.
Aug 3, 2023
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Joseph Thomas
3
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Death and I are Work Friends
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May 2023
Let Anne T. Donahue Tell You About Happiness
A couple of weeks ago, in the midst of various life discomforts, I was catching up on some internet reading when something crossed my screen that…
May 17, 2023
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Joseph Thomas
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Let Anne T. Donahue Tell You About Happiness
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So What if They're Fake Songs!
5 Songs Made for Movies or TV That Need to Become Funeral Regulars Immediately
May 10, 2023
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Joseph Thomas
1
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So What if They're Fake Songs!
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April 2023
Mortuary College Gets Its Revenge
I guess mortuary college wasn’t happy that I was writing a series on it without asking because suddenly I received three brand new course assignments at…
Apr 3, 2023
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Joseph Thomas
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Mortuary College Gets Its Revenge
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March 2023
My Friend's Roommate's Laser Tag Party
Mortuary College Part 3
Mar 27, 2023
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Joseph Thomas
1
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My Friend's Roommate's Laser Tag Party
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The Stork Has Visited My Little Substack Abode
Hello, everyone! There’s something new, and I want to tell you about it before anyone else (besides the people who have read any of my social media…
Mar 24, 2023
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Joseph Thomas
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The Stork Has Visited My Little Substack Abode
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Move-in Day (feat. Clint from Tullahoma)
Mortuary College Part 2
Mar 20, 2023
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Joseph Thomas
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Move-in Day (feat. Clint from Tullahoma)
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We Built a Head
Mortuary College Part 1
Mar 13, 2023
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Joseph Thomas
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We Built a Head
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Mortified 2: Return of Mortified
A little over a year ago, the Mortified you’ve all come to know and love(?) disappeared without warning. Now it's back.
Mar 6, 2023
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Joseph Thomas
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Mortified 2: Return of Mortified
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